Saturday, April 16, 2011

Hate your height? No problem.

Remember the days when you were walking with friends down the street and all of them had to duck that branch that would hit their heads if they didn't. But you just walk under it like nothing happened? Luckily there's a surgery that will allow to to hit those top branches!

Didn't drink enough milk at childhood? Blame your parents for being short? Don't worry. there's surgery for that. So you might wonder how do they do it. Oh simple, they just saw your legs and attach some metal rods inside your bones and once every day you press a little button which makes the rods inside your bone expend a little.

Is it painful? Nah not at all, they are just breaking your bones daily so you can increase your height. China banned this surgery which is kinda ironic(say hey to foot binding). what does that tell you?

Don't worry you can now throw those away.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Some magazines you can't miss

Looking for a new magazine to subscribe to? Too lazy to research on your own? I researched a bit and found some of the most "interesting" magazines out there. No worries here there are for you.


Who would ever thought about mixing boars and babes? No worries, this magazine got it covered. They even give you a free calendar with babes and boars, so you can eat while you eat? Nevermind.

Tired of not knowing what to do when your neighbor's dog comes in your garden to pee on your flowers? No problem. This magazine teaches you how to take care of the flowers that were peed on while you shoot the dog.

A miniature donkey magazine! Finally! I thought no one would ever publish such thing since you know miniature donkeys are for people who cant afford miniature horses.

"MDT has AT LEAST 4 times greater distribution than ANY miniature donkey publication!!!"
It must be hard to be successful in such a market, I would never know.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Useless books you will never read.

Well I'm pretty sure you have been in a book store and you saw one book on the shelf with nothing but some useless tips and wondered who would buy such thing. Here there are.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Computer problems and etc. (no funny today)

I know, I know I haven't posted in a few days. I'm sorry for that. I was having computer problems, but I finally fixed it. My computer was freezing every time I started it up. Pretty frustrating. It would bluescreen and restart itself in an endless loop. But now it's fixed.

I'm quite happy to see that this blog has over 50 followers, thanks guys for the support. I know some of you might have expected something funny today but I haven't been on the pc for days and also its sunday (the day that I slack off). Don't worry this week will have great posts.

Also, I want to do a new blog design. a banner of some sort. How did you guys do yours (if you have)? using photoshop? Or is there anything else simpler out there?

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Things you will never be able to afford.

So apparently, some companies have wondered on how to rip off their customers even more than they already do. Of course, they have found more ways. Is there a better way than put some diamonds on a brand and ask for exorbitant prices? No, there isn't.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Its a-me Mario!

So I just finished the Assassin's Creed 2 game. And well I've never been so mind fucked in my entire life. I never played the first one so I had no idea what it was about.

 ( A kind musician dancing for me after I kindly poked with him some poison that makes people crazy.)

As soon as I started the game, I realized my char was male with shaved head and wearing jeans, that's right, wearing jeans, nothing like the box cover. I thought I had bought the wrong game or maybe someone had switched the dvd from the box, nope. But anyways, then I proceed to play the game and realized I was playing the right game.

Here are some screenshots from my game.

      A guard doing his job, resting in peace

    A wanted poster that only parkour reads.

 Giving a guard a tour around Venice. Also a fatty who stayed on my way and got stabbed in the face.

Jealous of my swimming skills, this guard throws rocks in hope I'll drown to death.

So after many hours of playing against retarded guards like the one above. I met a worthy opponent .... a freaking pope. He owned me with a staff, a staff. Many parts of the game I was fully surrounded by 7+  armored guards and it was easier than taking down the Pope that all he had was a staff. No offense to Gandalf. And also I was expecting that I would get an awesome cool sword like Frostmourne, but the ultimate weapon is some apple.


Check out this parody video if you enjoyed the game

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Say hello to hypocrisy

Remember the days when Bush was president? I mean..there is no way you could have forgotten after all, he started a war and got into national debt.

No wonder Bush is considered the worst president ever, tied with Lincoln, that bastard started a civil war, caused tons of death and social poverty in the South. Also don't forget Andrew Jackson how could he do what he did, he spent taxpayer's money to buy an piece of ice with nothing on it (some iceberg called Alaska).

Anyways, don't worry here is Obama to save us from debt.

 I mean at least he is trying to take care of the problems by not taking vacations and stuff.

                                                         (Obama in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)

Oh shi- . I mean at least he stopped the war.
                                                            (Intervention in Libya)

Well, in his defense he did stop a war, he just created another one.