Remember the days when you were walking with friends down the street and all of them had to duck that branch that would hit their heads if they didn't. But you just walk under it like nothing happened? Luckily there's a surgery that will allow to to hit those top branches!
Didn't drink enough milk at childhood? Blame your parents for being short? Don't worry. there's surgery for that. So you might wonder how do they do it. Oh simple, they just saw your legs and attach some metal rods inside your bones and once every day you press a little button which makes the rods inside your bone expend a little.
Is it painful? Nah not at all, they are just breaking your bones daily so you can increase your height. China banned this surgery which is kinda ironic(say hey to foot binding). what does that tell you?
Looking for a new magazine to subscribe to? Too lazy to research on your own? I researched a bit and found some of the most "interesting" magazines out there. No worries here there are for you.
Who would ever thought about mixing boars and babes? No worries, this magazine got it covered. They even give you a free calendar with babes and boars, so you can eat while you eat? Nevermind.
Tired of not knowing what to do when your neighbor's dog comes in your garden to pee on your flowers? No problem. This magazine teaches you how to take care of the flowers that were peed on while you shoot the dog.
A miniature donkey magazine! Finally! I thought no one would ever publish such thing since you know miniature donkeys are for people who cant afford miniature horses.
"MDT has AT LEAST 4 times greater distribution than ANY miniature donkey publication!!!"
It must be hard to be successful in such a market, I would never know.
Well I'm pretty sure you have been in a book store and you saw one book on the shelf with nothing but some useless tips and wondered who would buy such thing. Here there are.
I know, I know I haven't posted in a few days. I'm sorry for that. I was having computer problems, but I finally fixed it. My computer was freezing every time I started it up. Pretty frustrating. It would bluescreen and restart itself in an endless loop. But now it's fixed.
I'm quite happy to see that this blog has over 50 followers, thanks guys for the support. I know some of you might have expected something funny today but I haven't been on the pc for days and also its sunday (the day that I slack off). Don't worry this week will have great posts.
Also, I want to do a new blog design. a banner of some sort. How did you guys do yours (if you have)? using photoshop? Or is there anything else simpler out there?
So apparently, some companies have wondered on how to rip off their customers even more than they already do. Of course, they have found more ways. Is there a better way than put some diamonds on a brand and ask for exorbitant prices? No, there isn't.
So I just finished the Assassin's Creed 2 game. And well I've never been so mind fucked in my entire life. I never played the first one so I had no idea what it was about.
( A kind musician dancing for me after I kindly poked with him some poison that makes people crazy.)
As soon as I started the game, I realized my char was male with shaved head and wearing jeans, that's right, wearing jeans, nothing like the box cover. I thought I had bought the wrong game or maybe someone had switched the dvd from the box, nope. But anyways, then I proceed to play the game and realized I was playing the right game.
Here are some screenshots from my game.
A guard doing his job, resting in peace
A wanted poster that only parkour reads.
Giving a guard a tour around Venice. Also a fatty who stayed on my way and got stabbed in the face.
Jealous of my swimming skills, this guard throws rocks in hope I'll drown to death.
*Spoilers*
So after many hours of playing against retarded guards like the one above. I met a worthy opponent .... a freaking pope. He owned me with a staff, a staff. Many parts of the game I was fully surrounded by 7+ armored guards and it was easier than taking down the Pope that all he had was a staff. No offense to Gandalf. And also I was expecting that I would get an awesome cool sword like Frostmourne, but the ultimate weapon is some apple.
Check out this parody video if you enjoyed the game
Remember the days when Bush was president? I mean..there is no way you could have forgotten after all, he started a war and got into national debt.
No wonder Bush is considered the worst president ever, tied with Lincoln, that bastard started a civil war, caused tons of death and social poverty in the South. Also don't forget Andrew Jackson how could he do what he did, he spent taxpayer's money to buy an piece of ice with nothing on it (some iceberg called Alaska).
Anyways, don't worry here is Obama to save us from debt.
I mean at least he is trying to take care of the problems by not taking vacations and stuff.
(Obama in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil)
Oh shi- . I mean at least he stopped the war.
(Intervention in Libya)
Well, in his defense he did stop a war, he just created another one.
Aw, yesterday was quite the day, if you managed to survive the pranks in real life rest assured that on the internet it was no different. Hopefully I caught some of you on my own April's fool trap. But regardless, some companies actually did put thought and time into making their jokes and I feel that they should be mentioned here.
Blizzard has once again delivered a new prank this April's fool. Every year they tell the community about new changes on their main games. This year Blizzard made a video about adding motion support to one of their most competitive game, Starcraft.
Google also made a video about adding motion support. If those two videos weren't released on the same day I would say one of them got the idea from the other. Check out the life of google worker, an autocompleter.
Youtube rickroll'd us this year again! Not in the same style though, 1911 style. As you watch the video you can see the 5 different pictures that appear are referring to extreme viral videos. Annoying Orange, Bed Intruder, Swing Fail, Rickroll and Keyboard Cat!
Remember when Ozzy Osbourne was asked what he thinks about Justin Bieber and he gave his epic reply: "Who the fuck is Justin Bieber?" Then a month later they both filmed a TV ad together?
Apparently that TV ad got so much attention that they decided to make another one with both of them...again. Andrew Smith, commercial director, announced that this time they will sing together a song exclusively made for this video "Too Cute To Be True".(click on link to see this amazing song) He also mentioned that this will be filmed in a sunflower plantation.
So if you aren't living under a rock you already heard about this masterpiece called "Friday" by Rebecca Black. Well you haven't? Then go to youtube and watch it, she needs more views obviously.
A lot of viewers have been commenting on how bad her lyrics are. But did anyone of you ever try to analyze it? Well look no further; here it is.
Gotta get down to the bus stop
Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends
Kickin’ in the front seat
Sittin’ in the back seat
Gotta make my mind up
Which seat can I take?
So we learn from this song that waiting for bus on a bus stop is totally uncool. Why catch the bus if you can get a ride with a bunch of underage kids who just got their permit?
We also learn that picking a spot on a car is harder than it sounds. She obviously wanted to go on the front seats as she claims that the front seats is "kickin'''. But we also noticed that she has myopia, the kids on the back seats are standing up. Her myopia might explain why she thinks there are more seats to take than there are.
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Partyin’, partyin’ (Yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin’ forward to the weekend
As they are driving to school, they are also singing this. We never see them arriving at school, obviously they are skipping because school isn't as fun as friday.
My friend is by my right
I got this, you got this
Now you know it
Everyone else in the car isn't her friend. So rude. Also apparently I got something that she already has. Probably ear cancer from hearing this. And now I'm aware of it. Thanks, Rebecca
Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday
Today i-is Friday, Friday (Partyin’)
We-we-we so excited
We so excited We gonna have a ball today
Tomorrow is Saturday
And Sunday comes after...wards
I don’t want this weekend to end
This video is quite funny. Some people are quite hostile about being filmed which makes this video more hilarious than it already is. I am usually not a fan of big youtube top subscribed channels but this definitely deserves an award.
